Mediation. Upset client demanding a refund. Services provider willing to refund significantly less.
We had uncovered interests much beyond money (trust, reputation, self-esteem, fairness, social responsibility, time, relationships…), but parties remained focused on the dollars.
After two and a half hours, the bargaining dance (including splitting the difference at some point) had reduced the difference by more than 90%. The gap was now ridiculously small, but we had been stuck for a while. Not really an issue of money – it was a question of face: “I’ve conceded enough! Your turn now!”
Parties’ natural alternative was to proceed to court, which they seemed to agree would be a waste of time, energy, and probably money. Still, no movement.
As I considered bringing the mediation to a frustrating close with no agreement, one final idea, shared with a smile: “How about flipping a coin?”
The vendor seemed amused and immediately agreed. The client was initially puzzled (“Is he serious??”) but also agreed after I explained how it would work. Why not? The coin would take all responsibility and save both parties’ face. Resolution was now worth much more than the difference in money.
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Both did not seem too concerned about the outcome, signalling it was really a face issue. I felt they didn’t even look at the coin when it landed after that magic second spinning in the air in search for resolution.
Agreement!
I am not sure mediation training needs to include coin-flipping skills, but it would surely help to increase awareness of different resolution processes, their risks and rewards: for instance, “I cut you choose”, splitting the difference, getting an expert opinion*, and – why not – flipping a coin**.
* “Duelling Experts in Mediation and Negotiation: How to Respond When Eager Expensive Entrenched Expert Egos Escalate Enmity”, by John Wade, offers a good discussion on managing experts involved in mediation and negotiation, including considerations about splitting the difference and flipping a coin.
** See for instance Coin Flipping – Conflict Resolution.